Awaken Night

I can't sleep IDK why... blame it on stress? hormonal imbalance changes? Many factors that I'm not sure which but well, better that being accused 'terrible'? I just want to say that it is mean and rude to say that to me. I'm so lazy to confront or to say it to you already. Instead of saying that, you should be thinking/concern why this fella is awake? Is she ok? or she just can't sleep? and let her be on her own. I know my own body that is. There's no use forcing myself to wake up when I'm supposed to be enjoying my Zzzz. I woke up early morning 5.30am, went to send my sis, bought breakfast, went to interview, drove like mad (my bad), fetch my sis, eat and eat, clean the house (vacuum, mop, wipe all the dusty areas), clean the bathroom, and forgot to do my facial mask... I was more than tired compared to you! Sorry for not being understanding but fair enough cus you don't too. I, myself never know how long can I stay awake, how many tasks I can handle in 1 day, how myself dealing with all that, coping up with people, having problems at the same time but maintain to be calm and positive... Typical answers given : tired, stress, headache - proceed next day. That is what I see everyday. No one notice - Coffee stain on printer left for weeks, dust compiled, kitchen area getting dirtier, toilet bathroom mildew, mould, stains, etc. If I can choose, I definitely hope that I do not have to clean all that but I know I can't rely on maids (they're hopeless in cleaning) and it'll be a miracle if the others would clean up some of the area... so, I'll do it. No complains. Mom used to make noise back at home while daughters were still sleeping, but, hey! you should be proud of me now. I'm so much better that many others. Perasan 5 seconds. lol. I wish that life is simple and easy but not. I'm learning.. Independent yes! Dependent, maybe also. All I know is I try to push myself forward each day; doing something that I'm not sure whether I can, keep on doing until the end of the day, do what I can if still mampu, think every ways for solution... gossips/chit-chat as a way to release stress but of course I don't have bad intentions, try to boost energy, live healthily...and happily... I don't want ageing lines that fast yet. Dislike pointless arguments over small matters that have little to no real meaning in life. I'll learn to shut off as I'm really tired, I'm accepting and trying to understand that every person have different personality, there are people that will always keep on talking bout the past, negativity, instead of moving on with life and look at the brighter side. We can never change these type of people because they are always 'right'. I am not a saint to change anyone, that is why I focus on myself; what I can do with my abilities, what I can give and contribute.Afterall, what is life? You define it. Life is....something abstract. Crapping too much. 

Stay Well and Happy!